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Wasting

from Don't Look Down by Sage K

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lyrics

Wasting

In your Christmas card you wrote, hope to see you both soon. Here’s to hoping is what I said as I tore the card to shreds. You fucking fool. And then I fell apart inside, from missing you
I wish you could’ve been my father, but you weren’t cut out for the job. The incessant teeter totter of your rage and then your love. Was so confused.
But I still fall apart inside, from missing you
(*chorus)The part of me that knows that I’m a woman can see the part of you that’s just a struggling man. But the part of me that still aches for a father cannot be consoled in your abandon. Cannot be consoled.
For awhile there I tried to replace what you denied. Every lover had a task to give me fathers love at last. Which they couldn’t do. Until I realized that I was missing you
Then I set out on this mission. With courage I transitioned from dwelling sadly on the past to finally facing truth at last. I can’t change you. But I still fall apart sometimes and hate that truth.
I ask for nothing, but just to know you. I want for nothing but interest from you. I need for nothing, but tender Love You’s. Do you know what you’re wasting, Papa, do you?
Often I will hold this photo of when you were nine years old. It sparks in me forgiveness, brings a stillness to my soul. You’re human too. I’ll wonder always if you miss me, like I miss you
Now I say this thanks to fathers, who’ve earned the honor of that name, who are courageously devoted to every child that they raise. You heal my wounds. But I still fall apart sometimes and want that too.
*


Copyright 2011 Words & Lyrics by Sage K

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from Don't Look Down, released August 8, 2011

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Sage K Eugene, Oregon

I, Sage K write and record and produce all my own tunes with my music guru and partner of 8 years, Ivan. After 5 years of learning, undoing and redoing...our album has just been finished! Yay! Hope you feel the love we felt while making it...maybe the blood sweat and tears as well. xo. Love you, Sage K ... more

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